Eighth Teaching Reflection

Sometimes we have to remind ourselves of this simple fact: teachers make a difference. A huge difference. But how can you tell if your time and energy count for anything? How do you record the results of those long, thankless hours invested in grading papers, designing curriculum, and sometimes "holding hands" with a few students that just don't seem to want to succeed? Many teachers ask this question daily, sometimes hourly: “Is it worth it?” Is the endeavor of teaching anyone worth my time and energy? Certainly the economical gains do not seem to meet the expenditures ;-)

Sometimes it doesn’t feel like choosing teaching is worth the long thankless hours, the endless number of hoops to jump through, and the systemic disrespect for the profession. That’s most clearly reflected in our contracts and stipends. But then, teaching is not about the pay schedule. Teaching is about making a difference and ultimately challenging the status quo in an impactful (however minute) way.

For these reasons, I INSIST on having fun when I'm in the classroom. I enjoy the environment, the activities, and most importantly, the relationships that I began to forge with my students, even as a guest lecturer. Once I received my first assignment the good feeling that I got from teaching grew exponentially. Even today I look at my students as more than just seat-fillers... more than just identification numbers or faceless names on a roll sheet. The students are people who I get to help become better human beings. I love the beginning of the school year because it is the starting point of a wonderful rollercoaster ride the ends even better it starts. I hate the end of the school year because that’s when I have to say goodbye. And regardless of the deppressive, painful emotions I sometimes feel when pondering the tense lifestyle of a higher education instructor, I can now say that I wouldn’t want any other career.

In this vein, I try to think about the most influential people in my life. After my parents and close family members, I can point to a few of the teachers I had growing up that impacted my education the most. Life began for me in the 6th grade when I picked up the trumpet and learned how to cooperate in band. Up until then I had felt like a lost, lonely, idiot with my parents going through a divorce. I wasn’t very good at sports, didn’t feel exactly socially or physically healthy, and hadn’t found my niche. But with the help of a teacher, I not only found my niche, I also began to grow emotionally and gain confidence... confidence that spread beyond the rehearsal room into the rest of my classes and other areas of my life. My favorite and most impactful teacher, Mr. Mark Vanhoose, instructed my musical education and encouraged my individual private lessons beyond the classroom. Soon enough I felt like a veritable phenom and proceeded on in my beginning years as an undergrad studying musical performance.

Even though that seems like ancient history, I can say now that without the influence of a teacher who chose not to dwell on the mental fatigue, the pointless in-service days, or the “great pay,” but instead rested on his belief that what he did actually meant something in the lives of his students, I would not be writing this now. I certainly would not have sought out a field that emphasized the shared experience and effective communication practices that were also supported by early teachings of musicianship. What a disappointment it would have been if I hadn't realized all of these things!

I know that this process, this common understanding of hindsight is what has been the most beneficial in realizing my potential as an educator. I will be able to make a difference (no matter how small) when I look back over my career and consider how many individuals I too have impacted. Ok. That took a lot of energy............

Time to watch some type of drivel!